Who's In Charge?

Hey everyone! Warning: this post is pretty deep. Feel free to stop here. Have you ever been given something, and known that it was God's will for you to have it? Yeah, probably sounds a little silly, I know. Until about a month ago I probably would have agreed with you. However, I was given something for graduation that may have been written soley for me. I was given s devotional book by my parents for graduation. I have never been very good at being faithful with devotions, and I usually cringe when I am given one. This time it was different. I am in a huge stage of transition in my life, something that I have never handled very well, and I needed help desperately. I decided that I would give it a shot. I tend to over exaggerate, but I don't think I would be if I told you that giving this book a shot was one of the best things I have ever decided to do. Serious. There have been several mornings that I have read the book, and either laughed because I was certain that the page had been magically changed during the night, or had tears fill my eyes because I felt so convicted. This morning, was one of those mornings. The funny part was, it wasn't what the author had said in the devotion itself. It was the verses that followed. The verses are located below. Luke 12: 29-31 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or what you will drink; do not worry about it. For the world runs after all such things, and your father knows what you need. But seek FIRST his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. I would not be surprised if most of you have read those verses, and I'm fairly certain that you all have a pretty good grasp on what they mean. I, however, did not. I've read these verses several times in my life, and heard them referenced in several sermons. Unfortunately, I have never fully understood the depth of these verses. Many of you know that I spend a large part of my time worrying, and attempting to solve my problems. Okay, more than my problems, the worlds problems. Go ahead and chuckle, we all know it's true. I spend a ridiculous amount of time contemplating every word I say/said, every decision I make/made, and every possible circumstance I may encounter in the future. If you looked up "worry wart" in the dictionary, my picture and biography would be in there. The sad part is, I know that it's not how life is supposed to be. I have spent a large portion of my life trying to understand how people don't worry; how people turn over their worries to God. I don't know how biblical my answer is, but I think I have begun to understand how it has to work for me. The title of this post is "Who's in charge?" Ironically, that's my answer. That is the question that I have decided I may have to ask myself every morning I wake up. It is the question that is also the solutiion to releasing my cares and worries. Until this point in my life the answer to that question has always been ME. I have always tried to control my life, and told God to tag along for the ride. I've told God that his plan didn't quite fit what I had in mind, and that we were going to have to do things my way. When things didnt go according to my plan I would get so angry, and I'd run from the one that has always carried me through. What I have failed thus far to realize is that God was, is, and always has been in control. I have been so blinded by my own selfish ambitions that I have failed to see how every situation I have been put in has been preparing me to be the man that God wants me to be. The bumps along the road and the detour signs were not God punishing me, they were his way of preparing and molding me into the person that I am supposed to be. The phrase, "tough love," would be very fitting. For the first time in my life I am stepping back and reflecting on the question, "who's in charge?" While reading the verses above, I became extremely convicted. My mom has always told me "life isn't always fair," and even the verse above promises that life will bring struggles along with it. I don't care who you are, what you believe, or where you are at in life, you will have troubles. By taking control of my life, I had always tried to resolve and find the answers to my problems in life. Probably the reason I worry so frequently. All the time failing to see, "seek first his kingdom." Instead of drowning myself in worry and anxiety, I should have drawn close to God. I should have asked him to give me the wisdom and the strength to overcome my problems. Most importantly, I should have asked him to remind me, "who's in charge?" One of my favorite songs has a line that says, "sometimes he calms the storm, and other times he calms his child." This would also be a fitting time for my friends and family to chuckle because they know how frequently I use sing lyrics to express my feelings. In this transition in my life, as minor a transition it may appear, God has opted to calm me. At first I tried to fight it because I'm über stubborn, but I've decided to give up the fight, and have faith that the place I'm at in life is only preparing me for what is yet to come. I know there will be days that I worry, and that there will be days that I fail to get this idea through my thick skull. However, from this point on I have decided to "seek first his kingdom." Like I said before writings this blog, it's a deep one. I hope that if you find yourselves wrestling with God, and failing to see the bigger picture, that this blog may bring you comfort. If not, that's okay too. You may even disagree with me. If that's the case, I hope you find your own way of releasing your worries. As much as this blog was written for you to read, it was written to be a reminder to me. I hope you all are having a great day. I miss you all, and can't wait to catch up with you in the near future! Preston Sereg