Hey Everyone,
I have always been one of those crazy people that has to have every aspect of my life planned out in full. I like to know what I'm doing, and where I am going. Many of my friends tease me, and I've even been told the number one word that describes me is, "prepared." In my opinion being prepared is a good thing. I never have to worry about problems that come up in every day life such as; flat tires, speeding tickets, forgetting money, losing homework, etc. because I am always prepared (and freakishly early to everything). However, being a planner has a huge negative. When things aren't going according to plan, or there is uncertainty in the future, it scares the crap out of me.
One of the biggest concerns of mine for that past few years has been what my calling in life is. For those of you that don't know me very well, my faith is a big aspect of my life, and following God's plan for my future has always been a huge priority for me. I have prayed, literally, for years that God would give me some sort of sign as to what I am supposed to do. You see, I am this black and white kinda guy. I don't like to read between the lines, or look abstractly at things. I like everything laid out, and simple. Faith, in general, is not black and white, and learning to be okay with the unknown has been one of my biggest struggles as a Christian. There were times I would literally get angry with God because he had not shown me my calling under my terms. (I really hope you are all chuckling at this so far because I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's unfortunately true) Okay, I will stop with the background, and get to the point. This past week I was finally, after years, given that sign.
Over the past few days I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to follow Dr. Tim Breon, a general surgeon from my home town. For those of you that don't know him, he is one of the most incredible Christian's I have ever met, and a fantastic doctor. I'll cut out my favorite details about all the blood, and wicked cool organs I got to see while observing surgeries because I am a nerd, and could write for days about that experience. On the last day of my shadowing we were returning home from Pella (my least favorite town in the world, grrrrrr), and Dr. Breon was sharing his testimony with me. I was amazed at how faithful he had been in his med school application process, and even his time in medical school. I was really touched by everything he had to say. When we got back to the hospital he stopped his car in the parking lot, and we talked for probably a half hour, just sitting there. Here comes the cool part. Dr. Breon looked me in the eye, and listed off every single fear that I had about applying to medical school, not a single fear more or less than the ones I've been having lately. Like I said earlier, I have A LOT of worries about my future because I have so much I want to accomplish, and he literally listed every single fear like God had just pulled them from my brain and placed them in his words. He continued to tell me that none of those mattered, and that God would take care of them as long as I was faithful in trusting him. The next words he said hit me the hardest, he said that as long as I was following God and carrying out his plan for my life that nothing else mattered.
Okay, so that may seem pretty weak sauce to some of you, but holy smokes it smacked me right upside the head. This whole time I had been doubting God's ability to use me in his greater plan. For a long time I've known that I'm called to be a doctor, but my doubt and distrust had mangled that message in my head. This was one of the greatest and most eye opening experiences of my life. Immediately following this conversation, I was filled with a new sense of confidence and passion about getting into med school. This experience was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I found it fitting for my first blog post. For those of you struggling with similar things, I encourage you to get rid of your doubt. It only holds you back from accomplishing God's will in your life.
Preston
